memoir memo

To: Ms. Moody

From: Michael Cinicolo

Date: September 16, 2009

RE: peer review feedback

I am writing to you regarding how I will use and implement information that i received from my peers about my introduction paragraph to my memoir. I believe that this assignment has helped me alot to think about what i actually want to write my paper about and how I should go about doing it. One of the things that my peer had mentioned to me about my paragraph was that i did not use enough descriptive words. So i went back into my paragraph and reread it and tried to remember more specific things from the event and tried to write more descriptive adjectives to help the reader feel like he or she was there. I also learned through my peer review that I was able to convey the meaning behind this event in the first paragraph.

The reader also gave me a great idea, which was that since i described my car so vividly, i should also talk about the competitors cars and the feelings and emotions i was going through leading up too and during the race. This will help the reader have a feel for how excited i actually was and might help them understand what the atmosphere was like during this annual event. Using this peer review will help me develop a very well written draft because i will take into consideration everything he said to me because sometimes when you are writing a paper you fail to recognize the little mistakes that you make and it is easier for someone else to pick up on them and help you correct them.