Final draft Memoir

It was a gorgeous October day and my father and I were headed to the annual pinewood derby boxcar race for troop 117 of the boy scouts. The race was being held in Jonathan Dickinson state park at the boy scouts camping ground which was tucked away deep in the woods and absolutely embedded with wildlife. The camp grounds were like a little kid’s dream world, there were rope swings, obstacle courses, tree houses, nature walks, lakes and tents set up everywhere. All the other kids as well as me had been preparing for this race for a whole month. Everyone was giving the same exact materials in order to be fair. You were given a block of wood, two nails, four wheels, and a specific number for the car. You were allowed to cut the block of wood in any shape or form as long as it didn't exceed a specific weight limit. I remember how I had cut my block of wood down so that it was shaped like two waves leading to a tail at the back and a rounded point at the front. It was blue with a jagged lightning strike down both sides and weighed exactly 9 ounces. My dad was so proud of me, I remember him saying “Mike it doesn’t matter if we win or lose, I’m still so proud of you for all your hard work and time you put into this car”. When I heard him say that to me it felt like the whole world was lifted off my shoulders and now I could just go out and have fun and see how my car would stack up against my other friends and fellow boy scouts.

It was finally time for my first race, and I was racing against three other boys down a 10 foot track and the first one down to the bottom of the track was the winner and would move on. My dad and I were so nervous for the first race and we were very anxious to see how fast our car would go. We waited anxiously as the announcer counted down to the start of the race, 5…4…3….2…….1 and he removed the block holding the cars in place and off they went. All four cars immediately speed up and headed down the track at what seemed like blistering speeds, my car was in first followed very closely by the red demon. We were jockeying for first place, pacing each other back and forth wondering who would emerge victorious. The crowds of bystanders were all yelling in pure excitement and anticipation wondering just as much as we were who was going to win. Finally, it came down to the home stretch with my car barely in the lead and then it was over and I had won! My dad and I jumped up in joy, so ecstatic that we had just won the race not knowing that our journey to the championship was far from over.

A little while later it was time for the second race, and since only the winners moved on we knew that our opponents would be tougher and faster than the ones before. Once again we waited anxiously for the announcer to drop the gate and let the cars go. 5…4…3...2...1 and there off, this time my car was trailing the other three cars by a whole car length. I thought I was done for sure but then out of nowhere my car zooms down the track leaving the competitors in the dust. Still surprised by the come from behind victory, my dad and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves since we thought we were going to lose for sure. The crowd was going crazy, yelling at the unbelievable comeback saying “Go Mike”, and “Go Blue Lightning” which is what my car came to be known as. I was so happy hearing everyone yelling my name and cheering me and my car on that my dad and I had worked so hard on. Now it was finally time for the championship race and this time I was only racing one competitor, my best friend Caleb who I have known my whole live. Caleb had a neon green car with a spoiler that looked kind of like a mustang. It had yellow lightning bolts on the hood of the car and on the sides it said “Flash”. Caleb always had a fast car every year so I was very scared. It was finally race time and now there were more people surrounding the track than ever before! Everything was on the line and either we win and go home a champion or lose and go home unsatisfied. We all waited patiently as both cars were lined up on the starting line of the track. All eyes were fixated on the track starring just wondering who would win. For the last time the announcer says 3….2…1 go! Down go both cars swiftly down the track, both Caleb and I watch hoping that we would win. My dad and I watch biting our nails knowing that there is nothing we can do now to help achieve victory as the cars barrel down toward the finish line. We were neck and neck heading into the home stretch, and you could sense the excitement building throughout the room. The announcer was saying “And here they come, Flash and Blue Lightning neck and neck with only 5 feet left to go. Blue lightning takes the lead by a few centimeters leading into the last leg of the race, and he holds on for the victory! Blue Lightning wins, Blue Lightning wins!” My dad and I both burst out screaming in joy knowing that it was all over and that we had finally won. All the hard work that I had put into building and preparing my little pinewood derby boxcar had paid off and I was so enthused and happy with myself.

rough draft

It was a gorgeous October day and my father and I were headed to the annual pinewood derby boxcar race for troop 117 of the boy scouts. The race was being held in Jonathan Dickinson state park at the boy scouts camping ground which was tucked away deep in the woods and absolutely embedded with wildlife. The camp grounds were like a little kid’s dream world, there were rope swings, obstacle courses, tree houses, nature walks, lakes and tents set up everywhere. All the other kids as well as me had been preparing for this race for a whole month. Everyone was giving the same exact materials in order to be fair. You were given a block of wood, two nails, four wheels, and a specific number for the car. You were allowed to cut the block of wood in any shape or form as long as it didn't exceed a specific weight limit. I remember how I had cut my block of wood down so that it was shaped like two waves leading to a tail at the back and a rounded point at the front. It was blue with a jagged lightning strike down both sides and weighed exactly 9 ounces. I was so proud of the car that I had made with a little help from my dad and was so excited to start racing and see how it would stack up against my other friends and fellow boy scouts.

It was finally time for my first race, and I was racing against three other boys down a 10 foot track and the first one down to the bottom of the track was the winner and would move on. My dad and I were so nervous for the first race and we were very anxious to see how fast our car would go. We waited anxiously as the announcer counted down to the start of the race, 5…4…3….2…….1 and he removed the block holding the cars in place and off they went. All four cars immediately speed up and head down the track at what seemed like blistering speeds, my car is in first followed very closely by the red demon. We were jockeying for first place, pacing each other back and forth wondering who would emerge victorious. The crowd of bystanders were all yelling in pure excitement and anticipation wondering just as much as we were who was going to win. Finally, it came down to the home stretch with my car barely in the lead and then it was over and I had won! My dad and I jumper up in joy, so ecstatic that we had just won the race not knowing that our journey to the championship was far from over. A few minutes later it was time for the second race, and since only the winners moved on we knew that our opponents would be tougher and faster than the ones before. Once again we waited anxiously for the announcer to drop the gate and let the cars go. 5…4…3..2..1 and there off, this time my car was trailing the other three cars by a whole car length. I thought I was done for sure but then out of nowhere my car zooms down the track leaving the competitors in the dust. Still surprised by the come from behind victory, my dad and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves since we thought we were going to lose for sure. The crowd was going crazy, yelling at the unbelievable comeback saying “Go Mike”, and “Go Blue Lightning” which is what my car came to be known as. I was so happy hearing everyone yelling my name and cheering me and my car on that my dad and I had worked so hard on. Now it was finally time for the championship race and this time I was only racing one competitor, my best friend Caleb who I have known my whole live. Caleb had a neon green car with a spoiler that looked kind of like a mustang. It had yellow lightning bolts on the hood of the car and on the sides it said “Flash”. Caleb always had a fast car every year so I was very scared. It was finally race time and now there were more people surrounding the track than ever before! Everything was on the line and either we win and go home a champion or lose and go home unsatisfied. We all waited patiently as both cars were lined up on the starting line of the track. All eyes were fixated on the track starring just wondering who would win. For the last time the announcer says 3….2…1 go! Down go both cars swiftly down the track, both Caleb and I watch hoping that we would win. My dad and I watch biting our nails knowing that there is nothing we can do now to help achieve victory as the cars barrel down toward the finish line. We were neck and neck heading into the home stretch, with excitement building throughout the room. The announcer was saying “ And here they come, Flash and Blue Lightning neck and neck with only 5 feet left to go. Blue lightning takes the lead by a few centimeters leading into the last leg of the race. Blue lightning wins Blue lightning wins”! My dad and I both burst out screaming in joy knowing that it was all over and that we had finally won.

My dad was so proud of me for working so long and hard building this car and preparing for the race. Winning this race taught me so much about hard work and dedication and about that if you really want something all you have to do is set your heart to it and work hard. I really wanted to win this race and all I had to do dedicate myself and a little bit of time to prepare my car and it paid off. To this day I always work hard and put 100% of myself into anything I do because you never know when your good hard work will pay off.

memoir memo

To: Ms. Moody

From: Michael Cinicolo

Date: September 16, 2009

RE: peer review feedback

I am writing to you regarding how I will use and implement information that i received from my peers about my introduction paragraph to my memoir. I believe that this assignment has helped me alot to think about what i actually want to write my paper about and how I should go about doing it. One of the things that my peer had mentioned to me about my paragraph was that i did not use enough descriptive words. So i went back into my paragraph and reread it and tried to remember more specific things from the event and tried to write more descriptive adjectives to help the reader feel like he or she was there. I also learned through my peer review that I was able to convey the meaning behind this event in the first paragraph.

The reader also gave me a great idea, which was that since i described my car so vividly, i should also talk about the competitors cars and the feelings and emotions i was going through leading up too and during the race. This will help the reader have a feel for how excited i actually was and might help them understand what the atmosphere was like during this annual event. Using this peer review will help me develop a very well written draft because i will take into consideration everything he said to me because sometimes when you are writing a paper you fail to recognize the little mistakes that you make and it is easier for someone else to pick up on them and help you correct them.

memoir introduction

It was a gorgeous October day and my father and I were headed to the annual pinewood debry boxcar race for troop 117 of the boyscouts. The race was being held in Jonathan Dickinson stae park at the boyscouts camping ground which was tucked away deep in the woods down a long narrow road. The camp grounds was like a little kids dreamworld, there were ropeswings, obstacle courses, treehouses, nature walks, lakes and tents and other boyscouts everywhere. All the other kids as well as me had been preparing for this race for a whole month. Everyone was giving the same exact materials in order to be fair. You were given a block of wood, two nails, four wheels, and a specific number for their car. You were aloud to cut the block of wood in any shape or form as long as it didn't exceed a specific weight limit. I remember how i had cut my block of wood down so that it was shaped like two waves leading to a tail at the back and a rounded point at the front. It was blue and had a jagged lightning stripe down both sides and i called it flash. I was so proud of the car that i had made all by myself and was so excited to start racing and see how it would stack up against my other friends and fellow boyscouts.

memoir brainstorming

In order to prepare and think of the introduction to my memoir assignment i tried to think back to the day in which it happened and wright down everything i could remember about the weather and the scenery.

memoir assignment

potential memoir topics:

1. Winnig the pine wood derby as a boyscout.
2. hurricane francias
3. 9/11

What they are about.

1. Wen i was 6 years old i was a boyscout. every year the boyscouts would hold a competition where everyone was given all the neccesary materials to build a pinewood derby car. After about a week of preparation there would be a race to see which boyscout had built the fastest most aerodynamic car. I had one of the fastest cars in my whole group! I ended up beating all my friends and after that i was sent to a giant baseball stadium to compete against the whole state of Florida!....
2. when hurricane francias came through south Florida in 2006 it changed my life. Me and my family went to stay with my uncle in his house because his house was not supposed to be hit by the hurricane. It turned out that the hurricane had changed course at the last time and hovered over Florida and dumped alot of rain and wind down on us.
3. On September 11,2001 i was on the bus on the way to middle school when all of a sudden my bus driver turns up the radio and i hear the dj say that terrorist had just attacked the World Trade Center in New York. I was in complete shock and didnt know what to do. I can remember everything that happened that stormy day 8 years ago....

So what?

1. Winning the pine wood derby when i was so young taught me how to be independent and how hard work pays off. It taught me how to be independent because i made the card just out of a block of wood. my dad was only there to make sure i didnt get it hurt.
2. The hurricane taught me how reliant today's world is on the basic necessities of running water and elecricity. When the hurricane came over we lost power for 2 weeks and we didnt know what to do with ourselves. It was the first time i had to deal with not having power and the basic necesities.
3. Seeing this happen and watching it all over the news and seeing how it has shaped our country to be so different has taught me not to take life for granted. At any time everything you know and love can change in an instance.